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Old 11-08-2018, 09:23 AM   #1
Nunbrew
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+84
Listicon Awkward Sex Stories Part # 2

13. The overwhelming stomach virus:
"When we were dating, my boyfriend was hinting at wanting a blow job. I was just getting over a wicked stomach virus, but I thought I could manage through it . I was probably 10 seconds in, and this overwhelming urge to vomit hit me. I tried to get up, but it came out before I could get off his dick. He just stared in horror as I heaved." —anonymous
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14. The surprised guest:
"When I was 19 and still living at home, my mom’s roommate walked in my room to give me the phone and startled my boyfriend. I was on top and I flew backwards, whacked my head on my headboard, and was knocked unconscious." —anonymous
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15. The nose bleed:
"I was giving him head and things got a bit rough. He throat fucked me so hard I got a nose bleed." —anonymous
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16. The kitty surprise:
"I invited my boyfriend over, and everything seemed to be going great. Then my three-month-old kitten thought it was a great idea to play with his balls. I should mention he’s not declawed." —anonymous
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17. The high-fiver:
"When she got off, she said she didn't know what to do and asked if I wanted a high five." —anonymous
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18. The swallower:
"I was a bit of a late bloomer when it came to sex, so when I first started talking to my current boyfriend, I hadn't given many blowjobs. One night we came home from Taco Tuesday filled with margaritas and tacos. I started giving him head and I ended up deep throating a little more than I was used to and threw up in my mouth while his dick was still in it. I tried to swallow it back as much as I could." —anonymous
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19. The hot fingers:
"As my boyfriend started fingering me, I felt a painful sensation like my vagina was on fire. I remembered he doused his popcorn in hot sauce and didn't wash his hands after. I ran to the bathroom in horror, rousing myself with water and silently crying." —anonymous
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20. The stuck condom:
"The condom slid off his penis and got stuck deep inside my vagina. I was about to go to the emergency room until I fished it out with my finger." —anonymous
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21. The case of the sexy fireman:
"Went out one night with my friend, and came back to her house with a gorgeous fireman. I was sleeping in the spare room with two single beds put together. Midway through sex, he thrusts too hard and the beds separate, causing me to fall on the floor. My friend storms in to see what happened to see me on the floor and a naked fireman standing beside me in absolute shock." —anonymous
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22. The pulled butt muscle:
"My boyfriend, who I am still with, and I were going at it in the bedroom one day.
We decided to try a new position for us: doggy style. After we finished, my boyfriend was moving when he suddenly froze and groaned in pain. He immediately rolled over onto his side and grasped his left butt cheek tightly. Alarmed, I started asking what was wrong and he cried out, 'My butt, I pulled a butt muscle. I pulled a butt muscle in my butt.'" —anonymous
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23. The sex show:
"One night, I was having a booty-call hook up with my ex at a hotel, and the TV was on a news channel that was doing a report on STDs. We were getting hot and heavy to the constant refrain of 'syphilis is on the rise...' when finally, I turned the TV off. Neither of us realized that the blinds had been open and that everyone who walked by our ground-floor room had gotten a free show." —anonymous
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Old 11-08-2018, 12:43 PM   #2
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These aren't so bad. Hell I've had a couple that make these look tame. What I want to know is why no one leaves their name. Why not take credit for a memory that will never leave some other persons head?
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Old 11-08-2018, 01:50 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by belmontdude
These aren't so bad. Hell I've had a couple that make these look tame. What I want to know is why no one leaves their name. Why not take credit for a memory that will never leave some other persons head?


Tell us a story!
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Old 11-08-2018, 02:08 PM   #4
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O.K. Once upon a time I was going down on my wife, who is now my ex. We were doing 69, I was on top. Things were progressing nicely, and she began the squirm the way she always did right before she came... or so I thought. What actually happened was that she stopped short, ceased all movement and OH so graciously FARTED in my face at point blank range. It parted my hair down the middle. Now, I know a lot of you guys know what your woman's farts smell like.. I happen to be graced with what mine LOOK like. And when I jerked up, the mirror on the dresser showed me the little turdlet, just smaller than a pencil eraser, that she so generously gave me, stuck right in the middle of my forehead. For some reason, the last two years of our relationship went without me EVER going down on her again, and it pissed her off to no end. She thought a guy should be able to get over a fart propelled turd to the face and just keep on keepin on. I have a different opinion. Try to forget THAT.

SO, how'd I do for "awkward"?

Last edited by belmontdude : 11-08-2018 at 02:18 PM.
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Old 11-08-2018, 03:29 PM   #5
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I was going down on my GF so hard she "Came" and pissed in my face and mouth!
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Old 11-08-2018, 05:07 PM   #6
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Yep!
All of those are awkward!
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You weren't the one who let Vicki Vale into the Batcave.
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Old 11-08-2018, 07:49 PM   #7
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+14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by belmontdude
These aren't so bad. Hell I've had a couple that make these look tame. What I want to know is why no one leaves their name. Why not take credit for a memory that will never leave some other persons head?
Sex is the greatest when you take a try at it outdoors. As for pussy. If God made anything better than Pusey, he kept it for himself.
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