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Old 06-14-2018, 01:48 PM   #1
oppenoppen
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+30
Angry The future is now

CALLER:Is this Gordon's Pizza?

GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.

CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.

GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.

CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.

GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?

CALLER: My usual? You know me?

GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

CALLER: OK! That’s what I want …

GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten free
thin crust?

CALLER: What? I detest vegetables.

GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

CALLER: How the hell do you know?

GOOGLE:Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take
medication for my cholesterol.

GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago..

CALLER: I bought more from another drugstore.

GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

CALLER: I paid in cash.

GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank
statement.

CALLER: I have other sources of cash.

GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.

CALLER: WHAT THE HELL?

GOOGLE: I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole
intention of helping you.

CALLER: Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, Whats App and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first.
It expired 6 weeks ago…
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Old 06-14-2018, 02:02 PM   #2
rwh1960huck
Huck is now the forums Liberal voice. trolls & Republicans beware
 
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+10
Default

repost

reposted yourself
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Old 06-14-2018, 09:16 PM   #3
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Please excuse my short term memory.
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Old 06-15-2018, 02:21 AM   #4
rwh1960huck
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oppenoppen
Please excuse my short term memory.
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Old 06-15-2018, 04:05 AM   #5
tundrabarone
Why don't I have a Custom Title by now?
 
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Still Orwelllian cute
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