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Old 08-25-2008, 06:25 PM   #1
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Tag New Story Invisibility Experiment

As an up and coming new member here, I am willing to try almost anything to bring you the funny. For this post, I thought I would try a social experiment.

I decided to spend an evening being invisible.

Not some BS daytime talk show "see how the world treats fat people" kind of invisible. I mean, actually invisible. Totally lacking in visible presence.

How did I attain this? Well, I can't tell you. A buddy of mine stumbled onto the formula once when he was drunk (the guy is wicked smart when he has a few drinks in him) but completely forgot the recipe once he attained sobriety. Hence, we only have one small jar of the stuff left. I don't know what is in it, but I probably wouldn't tell you even if I did. Sucks to be you. Get your own drunk scientist friend.

The first thing I can tell you about my evening is this: movies lie. If you are invisible...only you are invisible. Less so your clothing. It gets really freakin' cold wandering around naked. Men: you will never be so terrified about keeping your naughty bits out of harms way. Especially when you can't see them. Seriously. It's scary.

Being one who is quite partial to brother booze, I decided to take this experiment to the local bar.

I know. All you guys are thinking that you would go into the ladies room and check out the chicks. Well...I couldn't. My wife was with my throughout this experiment. How else would I pull it off? People would freak out if they saw a car driving down the road with nobody behind the wheel. And I'm not about to do the pedestrian thing. Walking sucks.

One of my first observations was that it is damn near impossible to get a drink at the bar when nobody can see you. Now I know how unattractive losers feel. I will make a mental note to be more kind towards the genetically challenged wookies of the world.

I tried throwing stuff at the bartenders...but that just seemed to confuse them more. They just got really hostile and angry...and I remained invisble and sober.

From here on, I sent my wife to procure my alcoholic beverages.

After downing a few beers, I felt the distinct urge to urinate. I thought it would be funny to just walk around peeing on various people because they wouldn't be able to tell where it was coming from. But my wife said "Hell no". Such is my life. She doesn't take comedy as seriously as I do.

Ambling towards the restroom was fun. I could just bump into people or throw various kung-fu like punches towards kidney areas with impugnity. I almost started a bar fight as the people spun around looking for someone to blame. Being invisible is fun!

Until I got to the restroom. Here is a very important note for future invisible persons: if you are invisible and standing in front of a urinal, people cannot see you. The result is not good.

After waiting for the restroom to empty out so I could clean myself off (even drunk people notice faucets turning on and water splashing around unguided by a visible force), I headed back to my seat to find my wife carrying on a conversation with an empty seat wherein she believed me to be sitting. My favorite part was how frustrated she kept getting believing me to be ignoring her by not answering her questions.

My laughing abated after about ten minutes. Her anger continued for another twenty minutes.

No invisible sex for me that night. No visble sex for another week. See what I do for you people?

Basically, being invisible is pretty overrated. Plus, it got me ignored, peed upon, and completely cut off from marital loving for a week.

I would have to highly recommend you stay away from replicating this experiment.
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Old 08-25-2008, 08:04 PM   #2
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Just the thought of having to walk barefoot in the restroom of a bar

You are a modern day hero
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Old 08-29-2008, 01:44 PM   #3
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Now have your wife tell her side of the story.. where you thought you were invisible, and were acting like an idiot..
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Old 08-29-2008, 02:00 PM   #4
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How much did you have to drink?
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Old 07-21-2009, 07:29 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MOS95B
As an up and coming new member here, I am willing to try almost anything to bring you the funny. For this post, I thought I would try a social experiment.

I decided to spend an evening being invisible.

Not some BS daytime talk show "see how the world treats fat people" kind of invisible. I mean, actually invisible. Totally lacking in visible presence.

How did I attain this? Well, I can't tell you. A buddy of mine stumbled onto the formula once when he was drunk (the guy is wicked smart when he has a few drinks in him) but completely forgot the recipe once he attained sobriety. Hence, we only have one small jar of the stuff left. I don't know what is in it, but I probably wouldn't tell you even if I did. Sucks to be you. Get your own drunk scientist friend.

The first thing I can tell you about my evening is this: movies lie. If you are invisible...only you are invisible. Less so your clothing. It gets really freakin' cold wandering around naked. Men: you will never be so terrified about keeping your naughty bits out of harms way. Especially when you can't see them. Seriously. It's scary.

Being one who is quite partial to brother booze, I decided to take this experiment to the local bar.

I know. All you guys are thinking that you would go into the ladies room and check out the chicks. Well...I couldn't. My wife was with my throughout this experiment. How else would I pull it off? People would freak out if they saw a car driving down the road with nobody behind the wheel. And I'm not about to do the pedestrian thing. Walking sucks.

One of my first observations was that it is damn near impossible to get a drink at the bar when nobody can see you. Now I know how unattractive losers feel. I will make a mental note to be more kind towards the genetically challenged wookies of the world.

I tried throwing stuff at the bartenders...but that just seemed to confuse them more. They just got really hostile and angry...and I remained invisble and sober.

From here on, I sent my wife to procure my alcoholic beverages.

After downing a few beers, I felt the distinct urge to urinate. I thought it would be funny to just walk around peeing on various people because they wouldn't be able to tell where it was coming from. But my wife said "Hell no". Such is my life. She doesn't take comedy as seriously as I do.

Ambling towards the restroom was fun. I could just bump into people or throw various kung-fu like punches towards kidney areas with impugnity. I almost started a bar fight as the people spun around looking for someone to blame. Being invisible is fun!

Until I got to the restroom. Here is a very important note for future invisible persons: if you are invisible and standing in front of a urinal, people cannot see you. The result is not good.

After waiting for the restroom to empty out so I could clean myself off (even drunk people notice faucets turning on and water splashing around unguided by a visible force), I headed back to my seat to find my wife carrying on a conversation with an empty seat wherein she believed me to be sitting. My favorite part was how frustrated she kept getting believing me to be ignoring her by not answering her questions.

My laughing abated after about ten minutes. Her anger continued for another twenty minutes.

No invisible sex for me that night. No visble sex for another week. See what I do for you people?

Basically, being invisible is pretty overrated. Plus, it got me ignored, peed upon, and completely cut off from marital loving for a week.

I would have to highly recommend you stay away from replicating this experiment.

Wow. Steal much?

It amazing how as "an up and coming new member" you wrote something I wrote years ago.
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Old 07-22-2009, 12:40 AM   #6
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Old 07-22-2009, 12:41 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by bigdamnfunny
Wow. Steal much?

It amazing how as "an up and coming new member" you wrote something I wrote years ago.

I think he meant that by the fact that he contributed in some way. It's probably a copy-paste job.
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Old 07-22-2009, 12:49 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RBK
I think he meant that by the fact that he contributed in some way. It's probably a copy-paste job.
That guy is the owner of the site from which that was copy pasted
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Old 07-22-2009, 12:54 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sergiuria
That guy is the owner of the site from which that was copy pasted

At least claiming to be.

If it isn't a paysite or copyrighted in any way there's nothing that can be done.
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Old 07-22-2009, 01:11 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RBK
At least claiming to be.

If it isn't a paysite or copyrighted in any way there's nothing that can be done.
I'm not saying it should be taken down XD

I'm just telling you what's going on
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Old 07-22-2009, 01:27 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RBK
At least claiming to be.

If it isn't a paysite or copyrighted in any way there's nothing that can be done.

Claiming to be? I guess you could simply use the email address on the site and check for yourself.

It actually is copyrighted. Both on the site and in the book it was published in.

Overlooking plagiarism doesn't make it right.
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Old 07-22-2009, 01:50 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigdamnfunny
Claiming to be? I guess you could simply use the email address on the site and check for yourself.

It actually is copyrighted. Both on the site and in the book it was published in.

Overlooking plagiarism doesn't make it right.

Ok. Then you should have a word with mOOse, the forum's lead mod.

There've been plenty of people impersonating chracters around here. Excuse my scepticism.
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Old 07-22-2009, 01:51 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sergiuria
I'm not saying it should be taken down XD

I'm just telling you what's going on

I had read that before. Just being my sceptical self.
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Old 07-22-2009, 02:15 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RBK
Ok. Then you should have a word with mOOse, the forum's lead mod.

There've been plenty of people impersonating chracters around here. Excuse my scepticism.

Now RBK you are starting to act wolfish
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Old 07-22-2009, 02:25 AM   #15
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Ok let me get this straight, everything on the internet is true? Everything you read on the internet is first run? Everybody on the internet is who they say they are? Next your going to tell me that this is not a picture of the girl I was talking to on the internet? webpark-06-podborka-84.jpg
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Old 07-22-2009, 03:23 AM   #16
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Have you had a few too many?
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Old 07-22-2009, 04:05 AM   #17
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It is a good story, who gives a fuck who wrote it.

I liked it.
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Old 07-22-2009, 06:08 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RBK
Ok. Then you should have a word with mOOse, the forum's lead mod.

There've been plenty of people impersonating chracters around here. Excuse my scepticism.

And I would have so much to gain by pretending to be a part of a site that is being ripped off?

I did use the contact function at the bottom of the forum. Haven't heard anything back.

As I said before, if you are so skeptical of who I am feel free to use the contact email on the Big Damn Funny website.

If you are skeptical about who wrote what, feel free to use the internet archive machine. They have eight years of archives for the site.
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Old 07-22-2009, 06:08 AM   #19
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It is a good story, who gives a fuck who wrote it.

I liked it.

Thanks for the kind words.
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Old 07-22-2009, 06:31 AM   #20
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Thanks for the kind words.

Any time.
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