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Old 07-17-2017, 10:07 AM   #1
Nunbrew
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Listicon Interesting Shower Thoughts – Part # 67

01. Scotch aged 12 years sounds a lot better than Scotch from 2005.
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02. I wish I were as fat as the first time I thought I was fat.
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03. 5 is like an honorary even number.
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04. Pregnancy test commercials always advertise people happy the result says pregnant. I bet a lot more people are happy when it says not pregnant.
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05. Have we as a species just universally agreed that Snoop Dogg can hit a blunt whenever and wherever he wants?
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06. The worst part about realizing how lonely you are is when you realize you have no one to tell how lonely you are.
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07. I walk in video games to explore the landscape and witness the hundreds of man-hours it must have taken to build everything in the city, or landscape. I always drive around my town and I never give any building a second look.
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08. We have space travel and self-driving cars, but all I want is Google Translate for dogs so I can talk to them about my day.
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09. I hate the month of May because it’s the month you realize it’s not seasonal depression.
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10. I wonder how many times I’ve walked by a person who actually found me attractive.
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11. Yawning is like the body’s “20% battery remaining” warning.
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12. The popcorn companies and the microwave companies should sit down and figure out this fucking popcorn button issue.
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13. I know I’m still young because when a coworker told me she was pregnant my initial reaction was panic for her before I remembered I was supposed to say congratulations.
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14. Google Earth must be very frustrating for Flat Earth people.
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15. Been cooking in restaurants full time for 6 years, I wonder if I’ve ever cooked someone their last meal.
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16. I spend more time nervously monitoring my speedometer in school zones than I do watch for children.
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17. Being older than Google will one day become the new “really old” metric, comparable to sliced bread and colored television.
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18. If I had the power to rewind time, I would probably use it 95% of the time to just get more sleep in the morning.
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19. The generation that warned children about video games is the same generation that falls for Pay-2-Win games.
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20. I never notice how much I use a part of my body until I have a cut on it.
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21. The most defeating sound in the world is the sound of singing birds after a sleepless night when you have to get up early the next day.
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22. Whoever first thought of having a double jump in a game was probably told it’s a stupid idea.
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23. For the guy who wrote Fuck Tha Police, Ice Cube plays a lot of cops in movies.
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24. As an adult, I just realized I can go to the zoo whenever I want.
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25. I’m disappointed in our ancestors for never domesticating bats.
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Old 07-17-2017, 11:33 AM   #2
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02. I wish I were as fat as the first time I thought I was fat.

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Old 07-17-2017, 02:25 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nunbrew
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15. Been cooking in restaurants full time for 6 years, I wonder if I’ve ever cooked someone their last meal.
.

I guess that would depend on how lousy a cook you are.
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Old 07-17-2017, 04:04 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nunbrew
08. We have space travel and self-driving cars, but all I want is Google Translate for dogs so I can talk to them about my day.

This reminds me of an episode of Dexter's Lab, where Dexter gave a dog the ability to talk because it kept barking at one of his machines.
And the dog says, 'It's a thing and it's there and it's a thing.'
Shit cracks me up to this day.
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Old 07-17-2017, 04:04 PM   #5
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12. The popcorn companies and the microwave companies should sit down and figure out this fucking popcorn button issue.

Yes!
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Old 07-17-2017, 04:05 PM   #6
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25. I’m disappointed in our ancestors for never domesticating bats.

Now I am too.
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