+42
Signs that the Enterprise is Nearing the End of its Warranty
Impulse engines stall when used in reverse.
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Digital speedometer on helm console stuck at "88".
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Shields fail to work on alternate Fridays.
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Rust problem in engineering causes support failure: one corner of warp coil now held up by phone book.
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Computer fails to process any instruction beginning with "w".
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Booster cables become permanent fixtures in transporter room.
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Captain's chair must be propped up against screen to keep image from flickering.
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Guinan stops wearing large, heavy hats for fear of falling through squeaky part of floor in 10-forward.
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Main sensor array unable to pick up anything except CBS.
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Lower part of bridge falls even lower and ramps along either side become too steep for crew to climb.
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Turbolift cannot climb past deck 5 when there are more than 2 people on board.
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Holodeck becomes caught in an infinite loop: ship is overcome by ten thousand care bears.
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Ship cannot enter warp while food dispenser is making Kraft macaroni and cheese.
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Food dispenser in 10-forward will only serve light beer.
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Bug in main computer speech processor: computer voice will either stutter or talk like Barbara Walters.
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Untraceable glitch in plumbing periodically replaces water in Wesley's shower with frozen concentrated orange juice.
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Ship's dryer indiscriminately shreds crew's uniforms, and related problem in fabrication machinery will only produce new clothing with Roger Rabbit caricature prominently displayed.
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Computer refuses to carry out commands unless captain says "Pretty please with sugar on it".
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Replacement parts for automatic door to captain's ready room are exhausted and door must be replaced with bead curtains.
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Saucer section separates whenever ship makes left turn.
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